Death by Telephone
by R. S. Lee
Summary: A mysterious killer is attacking the Smash Bros one by one. Who will live, and who will die?
1. Death By Bullets

I don't own anything.

* * *

_Ring, ring_

Jigglypuff awoke with a start. She looked at the alarm clock. 3:00 AM. Who was calling at this time?

_Ring, ring_

She jumped to her feet, grabbed her Poké-Translator, and answered the phone.

"Bullets…" A voice said before hanging up the phone.

"Hello! Hello!" Jigglypuff said before finally hanging up the phone

_What'd happened?_ She asked herself.

* * *

"…And then they just hung up!" Jigglypuff told Pikachu that morning as they walked on to try and catch the Mario vs. Luigi match.

"That's weird." Pikachu replied. "Bullets?"

Jigglypuff nodded.

"Pikachu!" Dr. Mario said as he walked by, "You're on guard duty. The Hands won't guard their own cells."

"Oh yeah!" Pikachu said as he turned around to head for Master Hand and Crazy Hand's dungeons. "I'll meet up with you later Jigglypuff!"

Jigglypuff continued heading for the stadium before hearing a noise in a nearby corridor.

"Who's there?" Jigglypuff asked as she walked aimlessly down the corridor.

"Hello Jigglypuff." A very familiar voice said. "You have the honour of being the first victim."

"Who are you?" Jigglypuff asked.

"The first target is always oblivious to his or her enemy. They are ignorant to the threat on their lives. They never survive the horror movie." The voice rambled.

Jigglypuff was about to run away before a figure fell from the ceiling and fired gunshot after gunshot at Jigglypuff's body. She had no chance of escape.

* * *

_Geez, where was the washrooms?_ Roy asked himself as he wandered the mansion. He'd been searching for fifteen minutes. As he looked inside a room to identify it as an antique room, he groaned and went back into a hallway. He was the first to find Jigglypuffs body. 

He down the hallway to see Jigglypuff's body splattered all over the walls. Roy was silent for a bit and then forgetting about what he was looking for, he ran away for the Stadium, one of the few places he could locate.

He ran in and simply said, "Jigglypuff's dead!"

Kirby, Falco, Marth, Peach, and Fox all turned around to face Roy from their seats.

"What happened?" Kirby said.

"I found her shot dead." Roy explained.

"Who would kill want to kill Jigglypuff?" Falco asked. Nobody really talked to her at all short of Kirby, Pichu, and Pikachu.

"You want me to go ask her?" Roy snapped as Mario and Luigi left from the Smash system.

"Good match!" Mario said. "I just barely won."

"Who the hell made a stage on speeding race cars from the future? Do they have any idea how hard it is to jump on the tops of those goddamn things" Luigi stated.

The Mario Bros saw the audience staring at Roy. "What's wrong?"

"It's Jigglypuff!"

* * *

"Holy crap!" Mario said after Roy had led him and the others to Jigglypuff's body.

Upon the sight of the body, Kirby had burst into tears.

"Wow! That was ruthless!" Fox said.

"Falco, Roy, go and get Pikachu he's at the dungeon, Luigi search for Pichu. And Fox, go find Game and Watch and ask him to clean up the blood. I'll stay here and consol Kirby."

Nobody questioned that. As Fox and Luigi ran off in the direction of the cafeteria, Roy and Falco went to the dungeons.

Mario walked over to Kirby. "We'll find the bastard who did this. They'll pay. You'll see!"

Kirby gulped. "I'll hold the funeral. I owe it to her. She was one of my best friends."

"Mario, Kirby…" Peach said as she pointed to the wall that Jigglypuff had been splattered against. Mario walked towards the spot that Peach was pointing at to see a word written in pen amongst the blood.

The word was "LOST"

* * *

"I like Candy, I like Money…" Crazy Hand sung as Pikachu sat in a corner watching the two hands.

Suddenly Roy and Falco burst in to face Pikachu.

"Hi guys!" Pikachu smiled.

"Pikachu, Jigglypuff is dead." Roy said. "She was shot dead by someone."

"Who…?" Pikachu started.

"We don't know!" Falco answered.

Pikachu began sobbing. It couldn't be true.

"You like candy, you like money…" Crazy hand continued singing.

"SHUT UP!" Pikachu screamed as he fired a shock of electricity at Crazy.

"We're so sorry." Roy stated.

Pikachu looked up from his tears. It was hard for Falco and Roy to see the cute little mouse in tears. "Bullets…" Pikachu mumbled amongst the sobs.

"We aren't sure, but I think that's what they used." Falco retorted.

In response to Falco's comment, Roy punched Falco in the face. "You think that this is funny? What if that'd been Fox? Would it still be funny then?" Roy snapped.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that!" Falco replied.

"No… before I came down here, I'd met up with Jiggly. She told me that she'd gotten a call last night. Some strange voice said 'Death by Bullets' and than hung up on her." Pikachu explained.

Falco and Roy looked at each other. That sounded important.

"I'll keep guard on the hands." Falco said. "You can go with Roy to see Jigglypuff's body."

Pikachu looked up. "No… I won't be able to see that."

* * *

Fox and Luigi burst into the cafeteria. The familiar faces of Captain Falcon, Zelda, Pichu, Link, Ganondorf, and Game and Watch all looked up from their food. Fox and Luigi walked over to their respective

"Game, we have something we need you to do. Something horrible happened. Jigglypuff was shot dead a while ago. We need you to clean up the blood." Fox explained

"BEEP?" Game and Watch asked.

"We don't know." Fox answered

"Beep, beep…" Game asked suspiciously.

"You've got to clean it because you're the only one who has a mop and pail." Fox replied.

Fox looked over to see Luigi comforting a sobbing Pichu. The other four were staring at the scene of Pichu's sobs.

"Jigglypuff was murdered today." Luigi said to the four. "There're no suspects at the moment and some of us are currently investigating the death."

"And so the deaths start…" thought Link from his seat.

"So what do we all know?" Mario said as he and the rest of the Smashers held a conference.

"It was foul play. We know that." Luigi said.

"BEEP. BEEP." Added Game and Watch.

"Pikachu and the Hands are innocent." Dr. Mario said. "I saw Pikachu leaving Jigglypuff to guard the hands."

"There seems to be no known motive." Added Marth

"Jigglypuff had a strange phone call last night about her death." Roy said.

"And the word 'Lost' was inexplicitly written in the wall." continued Peach.

"And of course Jigglypuff is dead." DK added.

"Well thank you for stating the obvious." Samus snapped at the ape.

"Shut up both of you!" Ganondorf roared. "There is one way that we can find out who did this."

"How?" Fox asked.

"Through Link! Link is Young Link from the past. He has Young Link's memories. That means that he obviously knows who did it." Ganondorf replied. Everyone turned to Link who had been waiting in a corner.

"Link, who is doing this?" Mario asked.

"I cannot tell you!" replied Link.

"Oh, was Jigglypuff's death not gruesome enough for you?" Kirby snapped.

"I will not change time. I can't change the future without causing severe consequences." Link answered.

Kirby jumped from his seat and ran after Link. Ganondorf grabbed the puffball and prevented him from trying to kill Link.

"You knew about this the whole time. You could have saved her life. WHAT KIND OF A HERO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" screamed Kirby.

"Calm down Kirby." Mario stated.

"How would you feel if he had let Peach die? Or even your brother." Kirby screamed.

"I am a hero of Time. I am meant to keep time going as it should." Link answered. "And I will not interfere."

"You did it didn't you." Kirby stated. "That is no excuse to let her die."

"I will not answer that question." Link answered as he stood up to leave.

Everyone watched as Kirby kicked Ganondorf in the stomach. Out of shock, Ganondorf dropped the puffball. Kirby charged after Link. He jumped in the air and began strangling the Hero of Time.

* * *

Why is Link being such a dick? Who killed Jigglypuff? Who is next to die? What does LOST mean? Read on and continue. 


	2. Death By Sky

I don't own anything.

* * *

As Kirby strangled Link relentlessly, Donkey Kong lunged at the two and ripped them apart from each other. Link fell to the ground and gasped for air.

"Calm down, Kirby." Donkey Kong ordered.

Kirby kicked DK in the face and stormed out of the room. As the Smashers ran to help out Link, Yoshi chased after his friend, past Young Link, Ness, Nana, and Popo and after the puffball. He watched as Kirby sat in front of a window.

"What was that all about?" Yoshi asked.

"It's his fault that Jigglypuff is dead." Kirby said.

"Look, Link is being a dick, but he obviously has his reasons. They probably aren't good reasons, but they are reasons nonetheless." Yoshi stated.

"I don't care. There aren't any good enough reasons to let someone die. I want payback." Kirby said. "I'll find who killed Jigglypuff. I swear it on her grave."

"Don't do this, man. I'm afraid for your sanity." Yoshi stated.

"I will get revenge," Kirby snapped, "And there is nothing you can do to stop me."

"But…" Yoshi started.

"Leave me alone." Kirby said. "I want to be alone."

Yoshi had no choice but to watch his best friend walk away very pissed off.

* * *

"What's going on in there?" Ness asked his little gang, consisting of Young Link and the Ice Climbers, waited outside the meeting room.

"I just want to know if we'll ever be told why there is a meeting to begin with." Young Link stated cynically. It was true. The children gang and Pichu were constantly left out of meetings.

"Yeah. They could at least tell us what's happening. We're Smash Brothers too. I want to be in on this." Popo said.

"WHAT KIND OF A HERO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" screamed Kirby.

"What the hell?" Nana said before Kirby's voice scream out again.

"How would you feel if he had let Peach die? Or even your brother?"

"Huh?" Young Link stated.

The four now knew one thing. Someone was dead.

"Anybody notice anybody missing." Nana asked

"It's a large mansion. It is difficult to keep track of twenty-six people." Ness stated simply.

The next instant, Kirby burst through the door followed closely by Yoshi. The four kids looked into the room to see the adult Smashers crowded around Adult Link.

Young Link stood paralyzed after seeing his older-self gasping for air.

"What happened?" Popo asked.

"Kirby." Ganondorf replied without realizing that it'd been one of the children who asked.

"Why?" Ness spoke up.

"Jigglypuff…" Link replied gasped as he slowly stood up. "She's dead, and Kirby blames me."

"It is your fault!" Peach spoke up.

"Well, you have to admit Kirby did go over the deep end." Zelda stated.

"Actually this is perfectly normal behavior for someone like him. He is very reliant on his friends. And the death of a friend is like the death of a part of him. So he is treating Jigglypuff's death as if it was himself. And people on their deathbeds often go through several stages. Denial, Anger, Begging, Depression, and Acceptance." Captain Falcon interrupted. "He saw Jigglypuff's body, so he skipped Denial right into anger."

"What?" Bowser asked. "Where the hell did you hear that?"

"I read it in a magazine." Captain Falcon answered.

"Yeah right! Like I'm supposed to buy that you even know how to read." Bowser scoffed. "Where'd you really hear that?"

"I can read. I'm not an idiot." Captain Falon replied.

"I better take Link to the medical wing and check for broken bones." Dr. Mario interrupted.

"I'm fine." Link replied as he left the meeting room.

"Come back here." Dr. Mario called out as he followed after the Hyrulian.

"Meeting adjourned." Mario said out of nowhere, aware that nobody really cared. That had not gone well.

* * *

Yoshi awoke uneasy the next morning. He wasn't having the best couple of days. His best friend was officially going insane and a murderer was somewhere in the mansion.

After the phone rang, Yoshi reached over and answered the phone on reflex.

"Hello, Yoshi here." Yoshi stated.

"Death by the Sky…" A voice stated.

Instantly, Yoshi dropped the phone. It couldn't be. Scared, he reached for the phone again and heard only the dial tone. He was the next victim.

Yoshi reached over and dialed a number.

"Hello." Link's voice stated.

"Link, it's Yoshi." Yoshi said.

"You already got the call?" Link asked.

That confirmed it. Yoshi was the next victim. "Listen, Link, you've got to help me!"

"I can't Yoshi." Link replied.

Kirby was right. Link's reasons were not good enough. "You can't do this to me Link."

"I have no choice!" Link stated before hanging up the phone.

"Link! LINK!" Yoshi called before hanging up the phone. He hung up the phone again and dialed another number.

"Hello!" Mario said.

"I just got a call from the guy who killed Jigglypuff. I'm the next victim." Yoshi explained.

There was a pause on the other line. "Yoshi, I've got an idea. I just need some of the details." Mario said.

* * *

"Okay Mario," Luigi said as he, Pikachu, and Kirby entered the meeting room. He turned to see Yoshi sitting in the room. "What is this all about? Why was I woken up at six in the morning?"

"Yoshi got a call from the murderer." Mario stated. "I have an idea on how to save him, but it has to stay within us."

"Why?" Pikachu asked

"Because I'm hoping to catch the murderer. And you are the only people I'm sure didn't kill Jigglypuff." Mario replied.

"How is he supposed to die?" Kirby asked instantly.

"Something about the sky." Yoshi answered.

"Listen. I want Kirby to follow Yoshi around all day. You're the only one close enough to not raise any suspicion if you hang around him all day. I'll watch him on video surveillance. And Luigi and Pikachu will keep a distant watch in case the murderer tries anything. Now, this is important. DO NOT go outside. It'd be suicide considering the circumstances." Mario explained.

The five looked at each other. Their only chance to stop the murders from continuing was to catch the murderer.

"I hope you know what you're doing, Mario!" Kirby said.

"I don't, Kirby. But this is really our best plan, considering that it's our only plan." Mario stated.

"I'm in." Kirby said.

* * *

"_And in other news, one of the oldest members of the Smash Bros, Jigglypuff has been reported as dead. According to one of her fellow Smashers, who has requested to remain anonymous, Jigglypuff was found murdered in a hallway. The murderer has yet to be identified, and the Smash Brothers have insisted that they intend to investigate the murder themselves. Jigglypuff's former owner, Mr. Ash Ketchum, was unavailable for comment…"_

"How did it happen?" Roy complained as he changed the channel to find a car commercial. "Who was the one who told the press?"

He looked around the television room at Ganondorf, Samus, Mr. Game and Watch, and Marth. While Marth seemed shocked, Ganondorf seemed to not really care. Of course Game and Watch and Samus were unreadable due to the fact that they either wore a helmet, or had no face.

"That was my bad." Ganondorf admitted. "They offer cash for info."

"What do you need the cash for?" Samus asked. "You're one of the higher-tier Smash Brothers. You make more than most the people in this mansion."

"BEEP!" Game and Watch roared.

"Hey, no need to be harsh Game. You can never have too much cash." Ganondorf stated.

"He's got a point there!" Marth pointed out before the commercial break ended and a news report started about how Diddy Kong had defeated a small gang of attacking Kremlings.

They had no idea that within ten minutes, things were about to go from bad to worse.

* * *

Luigi stood in a corner near-by the cafeteria listening as Captain Falcon told Luigi of his former Glory Days in the F-Zero races. It was weird to Luigi how this guy had gone from the most popular of all Racers, to one of the most unpopular Smashers.

"And so, there I was. Black Shadow had placed a bomb in the backseat of the Blue Falcon and was planning for someone to ram me and set it off. Sure enough, Samurai Goroh was planning to get me back for me busting his cousin during my last bounty-hunting mission. So throughout the match, he was constantly trying to bash my brains in." Captain Falcon said. "And then during the race, he crashed into the wall due to an attempt to fender bend me. I looked back to see the wreckage and saw the bomb sitting ominously under the back seat. I obviously couldn't just stop in the middle of the track. And the Pit Stop was too far away for me to reach it before the thing exploded, so..."

Suddenly Mario's voice rang out through the earphone that Luigi was wearing. "Yoshi is leaving the cafeteria to head for the Arcade."

"Thank god…" Luigi said himself. "Sorry Cap. I've got to go."

Luigi then began running away from Falcon to head off the Arcade. He noticed Yoshi and Kirby exiting the cafeteria as Pikachu followed closely.

Unfortunately for the group, the murderer was ready to strike.

* * *

Bowser entered the garage of the Smash Mansion. It was the room that the Smashers put their vehicles if they wanted to travel. He was headed to the next city to get groceries for the Mansion.

He saw Fox walking aimlessly throughout the garage. Fox saw the Koopa King and turned to him.

"Hey, Bowser. Have you seen my Arwing?"

* * *

"Yoshi, come on." Kirby urged as Yoshi paused to look out a window on their way to the Arcade.

"This could very well be my last day alive. Can't I just do what I want to do? And I want to look out at the damn sky." Yoshi said.

"Well the sky is supposed to kill you." Kirby pointed out. He would have said more on the matter if not for the appearance of an Arwing in the distance. "What's he doing?"

Yoshi turned to see the Arwing nearing the mansion. He stared for a few seconds before realizing what was happening.

"He's heading straight for us!!!" Yoshi called out as the Arwing rapidly approached. Within a couple of second, before either one could even budge, the Arwing smashed through the window and impaled the green dinosaur against the opposite wall.

As Kirby lay shocked, various Smashers from nearby the area began running after the crime scene. As most of the approaching Smashers stopped to stare at Yoshi's remains, Luigi and Falco ran up to the Arwing that'd killed Yoshi and immediately forced it open.

There was no one piloting the Arwing.


End file.
